Marriage Confidential: The Post-Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives, Royal Children, Undersexed Spouses, and Rebel Couples Who Are Rewriting the Rules

Marriage Confidential The Post Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives Royal Children Undersexed Spouses and Rebel Couples Who Are Rewriting the Rules Inthis timely and thought provoking analysis of modern coupledom PamelaHaag paints a vivid tableau of the semi happy couple Written withwit and aplomb this page turner will instigate an insurrection

  • Title: Marriage Confidential: The Post-Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives, Royal Children, Undersexed Spouses, and Rebel Couples Who Are Rewriting the Rules
  • Author: Pamela Haag
  • ISBN: 9780061719288
  • Page: 149
  • Format: Hardcover
  • Inthis timely and thought provoking analysis of modern coupledom, PamelaHaag paints a vivid tableau of the semi happy couple Written withwit and aplomb, this page turner will instigate an insurrection against ourmarital complacency Esther Perel, author of Matingin CaptivityWrittenwith the persuasive power of Naomi Wolf and the analytical skills of Susan Faludi, Inthis timely and thought provoking analysis of modern coupledom, PamelaHaag paints a vivid tableau of the semi happy couple Written withwit and aplomb, this page turner will instigate an insurrection against ourmarital complacency Esther Perel, author of Matingin CaptivityWrittenwith the persuasive power of Naomi Wolf and the analytical skills of Susan Faludi, Pamela Haag s provocative but sympathetic look atthe state of marriage today answers and goes beyond the question many of us are asking Is this all there is

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      Published :2018-08-08T22:59:33+00:00

    1 thought on “Marriage Confidential: The Post-Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives, Royal Children, Undersexed Spouses, and Rebel Couples Who Are Rewriting the Rules”

    1. I received this book for free through the Vine program.This is the worst book I have read in a long time, in several senses of the word "worst." In fact, the only thing that kept me reading to the end was that I wanted to be able to write a complete review detailing everything that is wrong with it. Starting with the actual writing itself, there were two problems right off the bat. First, as other reviewers have noted, the ridiculously stilted language, which would be one problem on its own, bu [...]

    2. OK, this is a weird book to read as a married person--you can't help but compare everything to your own situation. The gist of it is that in modern times, there are lots and lots of what she calls "low-stress, low-passion 'melancholy' marriages," but yet we are still too stuck-in-our-ways to try to change the basic framework of marriage. We have so much freedom today relative to the past, that why do we insist on keeping marriage as the same staid old institution with the same old rules as previ [...]

    3. As I mentioned in a status update, it's very hard to look at this book objectively after reading this incisive review. But I tried, really I did.As the review mentioned, one issue is the book's identity crisis and resulting lack of direction. Is it a sociological study? A memoir? A free-associative blog post? The latter is probably the most appropriate category for the book, since the research is pretty inadequate and the personal asides are too scattered for it to qualify as a memoir. But this [...]

    4. A lot of criticisms of this book are valid. However, the topic is one that needs to be talked about. Pamela Haag dares say what a lot of other adults - both women and men - do not. I actually admire Haag's bravery in this regard. As a mother of 3 who has felt all the pressures that go with that, and having watched friends, family, neighbors, etc struggle through their marriages, I was looking for an honest assessment of marriage in the 21st century. And Marriage Confidential is brutally honest.N [...]

    5. Processing processing processingThis book gave me a lot to think about. I really enjoy books that present ideas new to me or challenge cultural norms and this book has lot so that. I had never really thought about ways that the state of marriage could be generalized. It never occurred to me to question what one might give up to keep the rest of the marriage healthy. I've always been intrigued by the "courtly love" ideal from medieval days (which, to my recollection, is that the arranged marriage [...]

    6. Ok, I admit I read about this book in Glamour magazine, under the heading "The Curse of the Just-OK Marriage." Just in case anyone wonders, I consider my marriage awesome in every way, and only plan to read this so I can gloat about what these poor souls are missing.

    7. I was turned off almost instantly as the last thing we need in this world is a book that supports the destruction of the family unit – especially one that does it through pseudo-psychology. Marriage is not an institution whose outcome relies on the decisions and acts of others. It is only as good as the two people involved and when one does not take the vetting process seriously, you end up with Pamela Haag’s “Post-Romantic Age” marriage – a marriage of regret, emptiness, and personal [...]

    8. I didn't finish this book but I have a couple of comments about what I did read.Haag's supposition is that the 1800's gave us the traditional view of marriage. We married because we needed to have a family unit and perpetuate the race. We married in the 1900's out of romantic ideation. Today's marriages are neither traditional nor romantic so what are they? Today's couples are often dual-income or non-traditional. Middle age couples are now asking what the purpose of marriage might be. I agree t [...]

    9. I won this book in a firstreads giveaway. I Enjoyed reading sections of this book and relating them to my marriage, and if mine didn't relate, then to other people i know. It's nice to hear about the evolution of marriage as a whole; but where are the suggestions and hope for the reader? It was slightly depressing to have the affairs and failing marriages described so I skipped the open marriage parts because I truly don't need those thoughts in my head! So right now I'll be wondering what a goo [...]

    10. Marriage Confidential is a deceptively packaged book - it looks like either an exposé regarding how marriages are more loveless than one would think, or perhaps an exploration of how the elevation of children has resulted in the diminution of the relationship between spouses. It touches on these themes, but is really something wholly different, and this different element is absent from other mass-market reviews of the book.Instead of being the above, what this book is at its heart is a step-by- [...]

    11. As an author, I really HATE having to give low reviews. And in fact, I try to look for all the best aspects of a book before I do. But alas, I feel a sense of responsibility to report my honest assessment of the books I read on a site like GoodReads. I really wanted to like this book. On it's face, it's a critical look at the institution of marriage and the ways in which it is currently broken in the "post-romantic era." Haag investigates "melancholy marriages" which are characterized by low-str [...]

    12. I was pretty excited to have the opportunity to read this one, I'm not going to lie. I love non-fiction, especially in regards to cultures or ideas that I'm not familiar with. Sociology and psychology in particular interest me, and this looked like a good sociological view of changing attitudes regarding marriage. Another reason this one appealed to me is that Luke and I have a very traditional marriage. We're conservative Christians and support (almost) all of the "traditional marriage values". [...]

    13. 2.5 stars - It was alright, an average book. Not great, but certainly not bad.I heard about this book on a minimalist blog of all places. I wasn't sure what to expect from it, but it turned out to be a very interesting sociological creative piece that explores how marriage and the perception of marriage, have evolved in America vs globally, and also covers all the different types of marriages one might encounter today.The first half while intriguing, could be a bit slow at times. For obvious rea [...]

    14. As many times as I wanted to pitch this book across the room, I soldiered through to the end to give it a fair shake. I'm glad I did, because I think overall it raises the valid point that not all marriages are going to match. What makes one couple happy is not going to work for another; thus, people should spend less time telling other people what marriage is or isn't or what their marriage should be like and more time on making their own union work.That being said, wow, so glad the author coul [...]

    15. Just within the introduction I found myself nodding my head fully agreeing and feeling like FINALLY. Finally someone really gets it. The author talks about how a lot marriages become "melancholy" where it isn't bad, but something feels missing leading you to constantly ask yourself, "Is this it?". She talks about how this is really hitting home for the couples who are seemingly living the American Dream- we have homes, we have careers, we have families, we have a spouse, we have everything peopl [...]

    16. With a subtitle that says it all, Marriage Confidential: The Post-Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives, Royal Children, Undersexed Spouses and Rebel Couples Who Are Rewriting the Rules, by Pamela Haag is a comprehensive look at American marriage in the 21st Century.The author is at her best when she wraps up an anecdote-filled musing with a clever quip that brightly illustrates a point. In considering "royal" children, for example, she wonders how the rickety folding chairs around Thanksgiving kids' [...]

    17. It's no shock to me that there seems to be as much disagreement on about Haag's book as there is. People have very decided opinions about everything she's writing about. And it's her goal to get people to look at those opinions, question them, and talk about where they come from and how they impact marriage. In that sense, she seems to have succeeded, even if what she also did was make people even more entrenched in their respective camps.While I had a couple minor issues with the book, I think [...]

    18. Marriage Confidential is an interesting look at what the author considers a trend: couples who have released the romantic ideal. These couples remain in low-conflict marriages that are often sexless. Sometimes they will go outside the marriage for sex, turning a blind eye. It's the marital version of "Don't ask, don't tell." In other cases, they pursue swinging or polyamory. If couples staying together is indeed a trend, it has a lot of benefits. Many people have divorced, pursuing a more exciti [...]

    19. I disliked this book largely because it makes sweeping truth claims on the basis of very weak evidence. She does have an advanced degree; she doesn't have one in the field she's writing in. It shows. I strongly dislike pseudo-science.The book could benefit, in my opinion, from a more open acknowledgement of its nature as an argument for married polyamory. There is a large market for it less likely to feel cheated of serious social analysis or less single-focused marital advice. The title seems t [...]

    20. The book was okay, mostly from a voyeuristic perspective. I couldn't relate on a personal level and I even had a hard time trying to imagine anyone I know fitting into some of these roles. I find it interesting that everyone she knows is unhappy in one way or another. It seems hard to believe, but maybe we just travel in different circles. I also felt that some of the comments were judgmental, such as a 'typical suburban childhood'. Not sure what is wrong with that, but that is how I grew up and [...]

    21. I had high hopes for The Marriage Confidential. While Ms. Haag raised some valid points about the meaning and reality of marriage for people, the 'people' appeared to me mainly cut from the same cloth. Über-educated, high achieving and bitter. I was hoping for less of her somewhat angry and biased point of view and more of an academic view point (clinically removed).I agree that there is no one type of marriage, but she seemed to rely heavily on one type of couple, rinses and repeats. Ms. Haag, [...]

    22. Interesting, but not as broad or as insightful as I'd hoped. Haag has clearly done research, but seems to rely primarily on anecdotes and personal stories to make her points. Ultimately this weakens her arguments, given that she's drawing from a fairly small and homogeneous (affluent, educated, etc.) pool. Additionally, her discussion of couples who are "rewriting the rules" refers almost exclusively to couples exploring variations on sexual non-monogamy*, and she spends more time exploring infi [...]

    23. Leading up to my wedding I read through a few "things to know before you get married" type books. I should have just read this one. It's not a particularly amazing book or anything, but it's got the down and dirty on middle class marriage malaise. Much has been made of Haag's "rebel couples" who are in sexually open marriages, but that is not something I can ever imagine being okay with. I was, however, very interested in the counterculture couples who chose to be nonchalant parents or downwardl [...]

    24. The author has a strange writing style and makes some pretty sweeping assumptions, drawing conclusions that I feel can be explained quite differently to what she claims are the reasons for the failure of low-stress marriages. I found I didn't have the same patience she does with people who give up because they're bored (or lazy?). Vague dissatisfaction is not a valid excuse for being disloyal, unfaithful, or a quitter, and even less so when the stability of children is at stake. I rapidly lost s [...]

    25. This is a great book. Really. It's nonfiction and looks at what it means to be married. The book is heavily geared toward white, upper middle class marriages. It is interesting, funny, and thought provoking. Dan read it too, which frankly, never happens.

    26. Marriage Confidential by Pamela Haag is one of the most thought-provoking and insightful books I’ve read in a long time. It deserves more than a single review, and I plan to interact with Pamela’s ideas in much more depth later this year. But I couldn’t spend a whole month talking about marriage and not include this book; it’s simply done too much to shape my conversations about marriage. So for now, you’ll have to make do with this review.Pamela identifies a particular sort of marital [...]

    27. This is the type of book that The Husband would see me reading (probably in bed, no less) and his response would be to promptly roll his eyes while making some wisecrack about why a book about the state of marriage today needed to be written in the first place.(Actually, there's no guessing about it; he really did all of the above.)Me, I love this sort of thing. Maybe it's the former psychology minor in me, I don't know. Doesn't matter. That's why we're still (at least in my opinion) a good matc [...]

    28. I was super excited to get Marriage Confidential in the mail in hopes of reading something fun and maybe even a little inspiring to help keep my marriage alive. I will be honest I am not sure I can be objective in writing this review because of how I feel about marriage and how she feels about marriage. After the first few chapters I realized this author and I have nothing in common and I found it almost impossible to read her book let alone able to understand her writing style. I felt like I wa [...]

    29. This is one of those books that’s hard for me to evaluate. It’s very interesting. It’s well-written. Do I agree with it? Some of it, yes. Most of it, nope. I love her voice in this. Even when I am strongly disagreeing with her statements, she makes me smile. Her anecdotes about discussing her research with her husband crack me up at times, as do her occasional off-hand comments. Yes, I would agree with her that most marriages are what she calls Semi-Happy Marriages. Then we have the Life P [...]

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